Posts Tagged ‘What if Santa was gluten-free?’

‘Twas the Night Before a Gluten-Free Christmas

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

Have you ever thought about what the classic “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” would read like if Santa was gluten-free?

Read on, enjoy & feel free to share!

~ Happy Holiday Wishes from

‘Twas the Night Before a Gluten-Free Christmas

(Adapted by the Elves at

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature ate gluten, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas knows glutens a scare;

The kids were nestled all snug in their beds;

With visions of yummy gluten-free breads;

And Mom in her apron, and I my chef cap,

Headed down to the kitchen, hoping baking’s a snap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

It scared me so much… I dropped the gluten-free batter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Spilling more of the batter… it’s now gone in one splash!

The mess in the kitchen splattered to and fro,

Made me realize l lost all my gluten-free dough.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a sleigh full of gluten-free bread… Oh dear!

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he “GET’S IT!” – St. Nick?!

It sounded quite funny, when I heard him exclaim,

As he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Joan’s! Now, Glutino! Now Kinnikinnick and Udi’s!

All But Gluten, Canyon Bakehouse, Food For Life, and Rudi’s!

You feature the sandwich! You really make it all!

Now slice away! Slice away! Slice away all!”

It was gluten-free bread…  I wanted to cry!

They meet the challenge, and I let out a sigh;

So up to the housetops the loaves they flew

In a sleigh full of gluten-free goodies, it’s true.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The gluten-free bread I needed no proof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed warm and fuzzy, he was all red and white,

And he said “I have gluten-free loaves, it’s alright!”

A bundle of bread he flung on his back,

It was like an Amazon order right there in his sack!

With a quick wink of his eye and a fast twist of his head

My kitchen disaster was nothing to dread;

He was happy and positive, a jolly good elf

And I realized then things were good for myself;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

Then turned to me with a little odd smirk,

He left gluten-free bread and a need to wonder,

I don’t need to bake it… that was my blunder!

He sprang to his sleigh, and gave the team a call,

And away they flew with their gluten-free haul.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight –

“I’m gluten-free too, and I ‘GET IT’ all right!”

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